Being Is

Massive things in eyes so small
Being is
Perfect proof of an ill will toward all

things are eternal
like lights on a wall
melancholy eyes
fingerprints in the dust exist
somewhere in the past

"Disregard"

God is found most in the moments you stop looking. I guess that's why the searching never find him, fully, but only in pieces.  With infatuation, the world seems far away, and you're a distant dreamer. In love you see the world close up, finally, clearly.  And you're made a witness of what it is you were really searching for. So it is with god.    

Light grows softly
As I pass through
I fall out of myself
And drift into you
The sky glitters with dust
In the deep night gray
The wind is a cold ghost
And I'm swept far away
Far from warm skin
Near unending things
I wink at every angel
Who spreads her wings

Be Longing

Laying in my bed
Tossing over, over, and over, and
Still you aren't here
A dream like waiting
This messed up beginning
Is just life

Hush

tiny bits of things are written
underneath our damaged skin
carved yourself so deeply
it hurts now to hold you in
lay still, as if in illness,
weary daylong naps
somber warm slumber
the warmth inside your lap
this is where you'll always belong
this is where you always begin
passing through me slowly
wearing the exterior thin
   

     I just want something
   to take the cold out
     of this evening dark

Things Untouched

The Stars are untouched
And leave their prints
On shapeless oceans
One million lights
Shine brighter than diamonds
Worth more than gold
(To some)
If you take the time
If you notice
A damaged eye
Is what it takes
To see the perfection
In things untouched
Each star is a kingdom

Home is the place I learn to be alone
A ghost, I'm weightless, strange, and unknown
I'm made one-million promises locked inside
Empty rooms where what's left of me hides

I'm deaf with silence; I'm dumb with tears
Beyond all reasons I'm blind with fear
Love me beyond the fucking sky
Deeper than dirt and the wound of a lie
...
I've tried to talk with you again
To hear your words about the end
If this is only the beginning of being alone
I'll stop my crying and turn again home

Grief

Cut myself deeply; straight to the bone
Gave the devils a doorway; I'm less alone

Creator (unfinished)

I swallow salt wet tears
They splash down a throat
Sore from choking back
Then they dissolve into
The flesh of my tongue 
Feeding the seeds of anguish
And the mind of the afflicted
If a God imagined me,
And I was meant to be,
His words are all I am,
His most misleading poetry
 

Arms built strong to overcome
Spread wide waiting for someone
Your warmth against me and all I've done
It passes over us like the heat of the sun

And hovers around the earth and begins to set
My eyes droop and are aching and wet
Your kisses are a warm promises I'll never forget
And in the breaths between I die, along with every regret

remove me from your will, father
i'll trade its gift for truth
about life
about pain
about love
and poisons
remove me from this plot
to carry the weight on bony shoulders
i crawl and am crushed beneath
you're narrow path leads to empty rooms
so i practice my only talent:
lying perfectly still in darkness
 
i'm completely undone

Lyric

How could you fall back on your word?
There was nothing you couldn't do
The police cars are all around us
And on the next street, nothing moves
Nothing moves

Step through these doors, there's no choice left
Open your mouth and see right through
All the shadows and total darkness
To all the things you'll never do
No one moves

Do you feel trapped under my thumb
And as if you got nothing to lose?
You know it all and I am frightened
By your silence and all it proves
No one move

Perdre

Rest is like death I'm led to think
As fast and painless and soft as a wink
Trapped behind my eyelids in infinite black
With things I must long for but ever lack
I'm weary of prayer, of searching, of needing
I'm sick of the failures of my everlasting being
If nothing comes quick or easy or free
Then I'll sleep better knowing death lusts for me
My dark angel draws close, spreads wide her wings
Bearing witness of the longing inside temporal things
But fate for humans is brief and small
The sting lingers so close and in the minds of all
I do not fear you, death, I speak directly to thee 
All I wanted was you to at last choose me

"She Lays"

I.
She lays stretched out like paint splattered over the bed sheets,
Her fingers and toes dripping over the sides of the mattress;
She smiles when she sees me in the doorway;
I gather her little laughs into my cupped hands
And I kiss her lightly on her chin and lips;
Little separates this warm moment from heaven
Because she's an angel I dragged down from the sky,
Plucked her from on high,
Put her through life and she never cared the way I did
I tell her she's perfect
I tell her she's mine
I tell her I need her

II.
The stab of the knife cuts her screams short
Almost into a hollow gasp;
Her face is stuck in her last moment of pain,
Her innocent eyes shocked in the blood and sweat of my crime

III.
I'll never know if I was her savior—
Or if she was mine

I waited all day for this moment,
As if it were moments away,
But now that you're here
I'll watch you disappear
And I wish you only would stay

"Knife Obsessions and Love Potions"

Believe in me and forever be
A feather caught in a fickle breeze;
Sink your teeth into poison
As it grows fresh from the trees;
Breath life into me, my eyes behold to believe
The debt of mere being
A life I freely receive,
But won't you wash me out
At the end of all this?
And betray me with a gentle kiss?


Die for me.
I need some saving.
For all this trouble
And misbehaving.

"Little Pieces"

Every scream she knows she'll regret
And echos out your window into the air
I'll do the things you'll try to forget
But like a bad taste, I'm still there


In this house, these ghosts are our lovers
Little white lights floating over the trees
And slips its fingers under the covers
And picks you apart, piece by piece

If waking from these dreams upsets you dear,

You can follow me back to where they appear;

And rest beneath the starts in an eternal bed,
Swim up from black dreams inside your head.

I'm done with tears;

Life isn't as treacherous

As it often appears;

No matter the anguish,

No matter how scared,

Wherever I go

You'll be there;

My dearest friend,

My only concern,

To find who I am

And let the rest burn; 

I'll treasure you

In the palm of my hand;

It'll take some blood 

To make me a man;

If I must dwell

Where my greatest threats are too,

Among my enemies 

I still have you

Armageddon

I killed the darkness inside
(All my obsessions)
I stabbed them til they lay still
Eyes so beautiful, now see a new world,
I was an animal caged,
A criminal doomed to age,
Every moment passing darkly
Into a night of an abscent moon,
The silence screams an abcent tune,
The melody of death,
Every arm streched toward the sky
Began trembling as God drew nigh
And a neon light showed lies as lies
In every pair of human eyes

I've said I'm sorry,
And if I'm forgiven, what good is it, dear?
A cure to dull an endless sting,
A failed attempt to keep me near,
The stretch of your hand can't hide anything
You said you'd die before
You let me fall the way you did;
Well, now here I am, I am ready for war
And nothing can stop me anymore

Nothing

Blighted by a lovely shadow
Affluently shown in the light of the moon
Equipped with tools designed to disarm
Shown eloquence in every move

Captured

Love like madness
Sin in sorrow
After the sadness
Bathe in pain again tomorrow

Strangle

The devil kneels by your bed
The place we therein lie
The tragedy of falling in love
As you came so willingly to die
I hold you close I barely breath
And your eyes are fixed on me
Our bodies still as we suffocate
Melting in a bed of dreams